This second time around, I tore it apart. There are black marks with tons of notes, crossed out scenes or paragraphs or just words, scarring the pages of this copy. It is actually a good feeling since I know that once I sit down and begin the changes in the file, that I have some idea of what I am doing and am learning more about writing. I am not taking myself too seriously and I realize that I can do better than this. That I will learn from it.
The doubts that run through my mind comes from not taking enough time to do the right job or if there is a way that I can have the story work so it is publishable. I rewrote this whole book, and I believe if I continue to not take myself too seriously, I can do something to really make it shiny.
My next step is to sit down and think about the big ideas and what I can do with them. Should I keep it, expand it, or just let it go (maybe use it somewhere else someday)? I am thinking about the reader now and how I improve the pace of the story, clear up the inconsistencies, and to not let my characters down.
Most all, I need it shiny enough to convince myself it is worth reading all over again (and I know I will).