Monday, June 28, 2010

Fallen

Last week, I took out my rollerskates for the first time in weeks. I walked down to the bike path which follows the Red River right across the street from our home. I put on my skates there since I could never make it up the hill over the flood dike that protects us in the springtime. Then, I stood up, and went southward down the path.

It was a mistake. As a kid, I only skated on flat surfaces. The bike path, however, had little hills that caused me to start going much too fast for my own good. A curve appeared in that trail and I could have made it, except there was a puddle that threw me off. I fell, and I fell real hard. I was glad that I had my protective gear on (which I have been noticing people don't wear at all), but it didn't do me a heap of good this time around.

It wasn't as bad if I were alone, but then a man rode by on his bike. He could have stopped to help me, or just ignored my spill. Instead, he yelled at me to be more careful. Not once. Twice.

I then stood up, and I knew I couldn't move forward with the pain coming from my backside and leg. I took off my skates as fast as I could, and I went home to soak my wound.

I didn't have to tell this story. No one had to know that I embarrassed myself on the bike trail and that it took five days for me to not feel the physical pain any longer. Still, I had fallen and it put things into perspective for me.

Earlier in the week, I had a dream and I can still feel what I was feeling in the dream. The whole scenario followed how I found out I was pregnant, down to the moment where I was sitting at the doctor's office when they told me it was true. It was unexpected, unplanned, and I sat there and I knew everything would be just fine.

I am not pregnant (and don't expect to be for a while), but it must represent a big change and that whatever happens will turn out just fine. Then, I fall on my behind and it takes me to the other side of the spectrum of feeling like an utter failure.

I contemplated for a long time after that fall and started to think about what I need to do. I started to create a list of goals in my head, tried to decide what really matters, and so on. It was a mix of writing goals, exercising, relationships, and just the every day. The things that I need now, and doesn't lead too far into the future. A starting point towards something maybe bigger, or just enough.

Natasha

Monday, June 21, 2010

Expansion

I have been struggling with the rewrite of KIN , and I am trying to figure out how to accomplish something that relates to writing. I have Wednesday evenings and Friday afternoons to sit down to "work", and last week was less than successful (mostly due to computer problems).

This novel is something completely different than what I have ever imagined in my head. I am trying to put myself in a world that is still so new and fresh. It is hard and easy at the same time.

I cut out the first 30,000 words or so of the novel, but I am dealing with the problem of redistributing some of the scenes or stories somewhere else. My mind just hasn't clicked on how to do that properly, and I believe that is the reason why it is so hard to move forward. I am not at the editing stage, but I am at the rewrite stage. This is a bigger challenge than I think I have ever given myself. I am also not comfortable at all to hand my work to anyone for help at this point. I am on my own.

While waiting for my mind to put the pieces together, I do have Stone Circle (my critique group) and helping out another friend with edits and rewrites (I have been handing in short stories). I just wish I could do something with KIN, and I might finally have figured out how to solve this problem.

I pulled out the printed version of the newly proclaimed first chapter. I am taking it with me wherever I can until I figure out a workable solution. This morning I decided that I am going to try putting some past scenes back in, and then blending them in an important scene. I will be blending it all together this week, and I believe, this will be what I will have Stone Circle edit in the next month or so.

When talking about blending, it reminds me of paint. I may not be blending together different colors, but my words need to blend to bring out the right emotions. To keep people's eyes moving in searching and hopefully enjoyment. See why I am feeling challenged?

This morning, I am feeling much better that I have some semblence of direction again.

Natasha

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hero

My husband just bought the new Android phone, the Evo. He then passed on his HTC Hero to me, and after a week, I am totally in love with it. There is just so much that I have been missing out on! I have been using my little Sansa MP3 player to listen to MPR and podcasts, but now I can that on my phone and more. So, I thought I would write about the things I discovered I could do on my phone, which means, a list of apps and some I will give an explanation on how I used them.
  • AppBrain Market Sync- Visit AppBrain.com to sign up where you can help use this to find different apps instead of Market and share with friends.
  • aCar- Store up to date information regarding your car
  • Audible- Beta for listening to audio books
  • Barcode Scanner- Scan a product to see how much it costs from locally to Amazon
  • Calender (Google)- Use to keep track of my schedule
  • Dropbox- Organization tool. Watch the video here: https://www.dropbox.com/
  • Evernote- Trying out writing notes to myself. I used it so far to make a note of a tile I want for our kitchen that we used when we went to the store.
  • Facebook
  • Fring- Video chat with your friends
  • Google Sky Map- Point to the sky and see what constellations you are looking at.
  • Listen- Use to listen to my podcasts that I subscribe to through Google Reader
  • Mint.com- Check out your bank account directly from your phone
  • Music- Listen to the music stored on your phone
  • NPR News
  • Pandora- Internet radio
  • Skyfire- Use as an alternate to the Internet and it detects videos on websites that you can play easily. This is how I watch/listen to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.
  • TasKiller- Helps with the battery and keep unnecessary programs open
  • Twitter
  • Wikidroid- Wikipedia
  • You Tube
Are there any apps that you love? Right now, my favorite window that I created on my Hero is
the entertainment where I can listen to things all day long without being bored at work (data entry). I cannot believe how fast last week went after having this new phone.

The only drawback, of course, is battery life. My husband bought a USB charging kit at for our phones since we sit at the computer all day. It has been a great help. Also, if you do have an Evo, you should check out this article on a setting that could be affecting your Evo's battery life.

This week I am going to check out Android Gals (and maybe even Android Guys) website. Who knows what else I could discover!

Android is absolutely amazing and you can find it on various phones by different carriers and they are coming out fast. Android is one of the reasons that I bought my nook and am completely happy with the system.

Natasha

Friday, June 4, 2010

Ten Year Reunion with Myself

I returned recently from Florida where we went on vacation at DisneyWorld. During that time, the ten year annivesary of my high school graduation passed. That exact day, we went Hollywood Studios where we watched car stunts, the Indiana Jones show, and visited Muppets in 3D. Then we went to Epcot where we shopped in the World Showcase (Japan is awesome) and ate some quesadillas in Mexico. We went on some of the rides to learn more about imagination, the evolution of publishing, and how some plants can grow in sand!

I thought about my graduation from high school for a brief moment that day (I believe as we walked into France) and realized yet again how much my life has changed and that I am okay with it. The freedom of the day that I was having, and what I have done over the years, was more than the girl of eighteen ever imagined was ahead of her.

Reading the New York Times obit for Rue McClanahan, I found a quote that I will never forget that addresses part of my feelings on my reflection:

To Ms. McClanahan, “The Golden Girls” was special for allowing its women to be funny and many-sided, not stock figures, recognizing “that when people mature, they add layers,” as she told The New York Times in 1985.

“They don’t turn into other creatures,” she added. “The truth is, we all still have our child, our adolescent and our young woman living in us.”

Even at twenty-eight, I can agree with her since I feel those layers forming more and more. It is an exciting concept and I am not afraid of it. Why? Stories. What stories will I someday be able to tell? That is something to definitely to look forward to and that is what reunions are all about, isn't it?

I won't be attending my actual ten year reunion, but I think that I already experienced one with myself.

Natasha